February 04, 2019: Classifying Data

With apologies to Borges, I believe that all data sets can be classified as follows:

  1. Those that belong to the emperor.
  2. Those that are irrelevant.
  3. Those that are presently empty.
  4. Those that describe tulips.
  5. Those that are included in this classification.
  6. Those that make analysts tremble as if they were mad.
  7. Those originally written on parchment with a fine camel hair brush.
  8. Screenshots of spreadsheets embedded in PDFs.
  9. Those containing the word “NULL”.
  10. Those that include the only copy of the API key needed to access them.
  11. Those that when plotted at low resolution appear to be distributed normally.
  12. Those with indisputable provenance.
  13. Those whose columns are of monotonically increasing width.
  14. This one.

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