I Need a Word…

In the last couple of years, people have taken to calling Perl, Python, Ruby, and their kin "agile" languages. The term is pure marketing hype: "agile" is obviously a good thing, and it implies (without actually saying) that compiled, statically-typed languages like C++, Java, and C# are clumsy, plodding things, fit to be used only by programmers who drag their knuckles when they walk and need UML diagrams to show them how to pick their noses.

In the interest of fair play (and to stir things a little), I'd like to find an adjective to use for the non-agile languages of the world which is just as biased as "agile". "Robust"? "Sturdy"? "Predictable"? If possible, it should be an antonym of "agile", but a complimentary one. Please send your suggestions to me; I'll add a comment to this posting when I have a handful for consideration.