This Morning's Conversation With My Cable Service Provider

My side of the conversation this morning went like this. (I would have recorded it “for quality assurance purposes”, but where would I send the recording?)

• I'd like to have a technician come in to move a cable connection.
• Yes, I understand there will be a charge.
• A monthly charge? Why will there be a monthly charge?
• No, I don't want to add a connection, I want to move an existing one.
• No, I want to disable the one that's there, and put in a new one.
• What do you mean, you can't disable one?
• Yes, I want to TURN OFF the one that's there, and—
• No, I don't want to cancel my service.
• Yes, I want to—may I finish please?
• Thank you. I want to move the existing connection in the living room to a different place in the living room.
• Right, so the number of connections stays the same.
• Right, but we're adding one, so if we turn one off and add one, the monthly charge should stay the same, shouldn't it?
• Yes, adding one, but we're turning one off, so—
• No, we're not canceling the service. We are just moving an outlet from one place in the room to another place in the same room.
• No, we're not moving house, we're moving the cable outlet.
• So we can put the TV in a different place.
• Yes, in the same room.
• Yes, I understand there will be a charge for the service. But it will be a one-time service charge, right?
• No, I—ma'am, I didn't ask what our current service charges are, I just want to confirm that there's just a one-time service charge for moving the cable outlet.
• OK, if you can just send the technician, I'll explain it to them.